Ben
GMAN
Least I Could Do
Looking For Group
Newegg
Penny Arcade
The Almighty Gord
The EFF
Wired News
November 16th
Apparently "piracy" (arrrrr me matey?) is gooey. The developer of World of Goo stated that the piracy numbers were at 90%. When inquired how it was being calculated, they just mentioned something about IP addresses! How flawed! After a bunch of people pointed out that the majority of people on this planet have a dynamic IP, not a static one, they went back and crunched more numbers (without yet giving us more substance to try and keep us quiet).
The number drops from 90% to 82%, but they doubt it's significantly lower than 90%. Right...
One important thing to note is that they base their calculations off of who connected to the leaderboard for any given reason. They also state that submitting your scores to the leaderboard is off by default. So once again their numbers cease to mean anything. Lets consider that this type of game appears to be the type that appeals to simple puzzle gamers, your lonely housewives who are home all day playing games like Bejeweled. Are these the type of people who understand how to adjust any sort of setting? Probably not. I honestly don't know what type of gamers bought this game. I really don't. I don't think anyone does.
Let's be conservative here and assume that at least 10% of their sales came from that type of audience I described above. The piracy rate drops down to about 72% at a minimum, mostly because even if any percentage of the type of gamer I described above does play with their settings, there's the other 90% where some here, some there, still will not connect to the scoreboard.
Like I said previously, no one really knows what type of gamer bought this game, and how many of what type. No one does. However, even if we really do ignore the "type of gamer" assumption, a 10% figure of people who don't touch their settings / do not connect to the scoreboard is probably conservative enough to sound reasonable. Assuming that there's any accuracy there, the figure drops down to 72%, which by the way, is significantly lower than 90%.
My numbers probably don't mean anything, I admit that. I have no hard numbers to work with. No one else does either, but unlike 2DBoy, at least other things are being considered.
I'd also like to point out that they have no idea what type of copyright infringers they're dealing with here. Are these the people who saw didn't go looking for a demo for the try before you buy idea? Are these the type of people who wanted to play more than what the demo offered to get a better feel for the game before they decided on a purchasing decision? Are these the type of people who wouldn't have bought the game anyway? How many of all those only played it once and decided the game wasn't for them?
Then we have to deal with the weird release dates, which may cause more piracy than intended, if only momentarily. Hell, some people may not even know that they can buy the game directly from him.
There is just so much we don't know or will ever know. It's nice to see that more developers, small or big, are releasing their piracy figures, but at the end of the day, every single one of those numbers are flawed. I agree that with my figure of 72% that the number is still very high, however we don't know anything beyond that.
I'm disappointed with Fallout 3. It is Oblivion with guns. Same game engine. Some of the same art assets. With as much time as that was saved on this project with certain huge things already having been done, I feel a better job is warranted. Fallout 3 isn't a bad game. Oblivion wasn't a bad game. However neither of these games are great either.
What happened to the days of a really long and engrossing story along with a lot of side quests? Are they forever gone? Even if certain assets are being reused? Look at Baldur's Gate II. The main plot was fairly big in comparisson. There was a lot of side quests too. The main story manages to pull you in, and it also wants to make you travel around so you're sure that you're strong enough for what comes next. I didn't get that with Oblivion. It was mindless travelling to a bunch of areas that looked the same and offered the same rewards. Fallout 3 does the same thing.
I honestly don't mind that the game engine was being reused (and obviously tweaked). They have the people in house to get that job done fast enough. I don't even mind that certain art assets were the same (though I don't think they really fit into the game). Bethesda can not offer on a great experience. They're not capable of doing it. It's one mediocre experience after the next. Hire some god damn writers and make a game that's engrossing for once. A game that's memorable. People will not be talking about Fallout 3 ten years from now as if it was some cherished memory. However, ten years from now people will still be talking about the classic Black Isle games. Why is that?
October 19th
The CEO of EA, John Riccitiello, is claiming that the DRM shenanigans has been blown out of proportion. This makes him a cock wipe. Imagine, if you will, what a cock wipe does. I imagine a cock wipe goes around wiping off another mans penis. Do they do it after he's taken a piss? Maybe. Do they do it after he's orgasmed? Probably. Maybe there's some dirt or loose hair laying on your penis. Well, a cock wipe can take care of that too! It is, in fact, their job to clean off your dick by any means necessary so that it stays clean. This is essentially what he is.
So tell me, how does installing a hidden form of a rootkit or malware on a person's PC make this scenario ok? What form of that was "blown out of proportion"? Is it being "blown out of proportion" when people point out that said form of DRM can make your drive unusable, and thusly probably needing an OS wipe? Is it being "blown out of proportion" when the DRM doesn't allow you to install the game again, not because you've hit some retarded install limit, but because the DRM doesn't recognize the version you've just installed as the patched version? Is it being "blown out of proportion" when you need to do an OS wipe for whatever reason, and can't get the install back? Is it being "blown out of proportion" when you need to wait on hold for hours during for customer service just so you can have the game reactivated? (This is considerably worse for people over seas.) Is it being "blown out of proportion" where you can't even resell the game to someone because of the install limits and the hoops a person would have to go through to get them back, which effectively is illegal because of the first sale doctrine? Is it being "blown out of proportion" when a person has to go through leaps and bounds to remove the DRM off of their system after they uninstall the game?
So what is being "blown out of proportion"? People have a legitimate reason to be upset. Don't you think it's pretty shitty that paying customers have to potentially go through hoops on a platform that already has its fair share of issues, while the people who pirate the game do not? The piracy hasn't been slowed down any by the DRM. You even claim to not like the DRM system. So why use it? You may have that right to protect the IP that your company makes, but I also have the right to not buy shitty products that have even more shitty hidden features attached to them. This is something I'm exercising with all games with the EA logo branded on them.
September 28th
Stupid Gaming Dev Bullshit 1
Stupid Gaming Dev Bullshit 2
Alright, so the big deal is that publishers and developers think they deserve some slice of the second hand markets pie. The second hand market is always there. It always will be. What I don't understand is that they feel they deserve to get paid more than once for their efforts. You do one effort, you get paid for it. If you want to get paid again for the same effort, you need to offer additional content. Anything, something, to make it lucrative for people to stop and say, "hey, I want to buy this again".
There's also another alternative to their ill-perceived problem. This solution is really beneficial both to second hand giants like Gamestop (possibly even the Mom and Pop shops) and the publishers/developers. The solution is very simple. Contract deals. They ask for a slice of the pie, and in return they do things for Gamestop that Gamestop themselves couldn't have done, or can't do easily.
As for the more fine details of the whole quid-pro-quo situation, I'm not sure what they would entail. But the idea itself is simple.
I'm also not very keen on the idea that second hand retailers kill the fledgling studio. Sorry, that doesn't jive. If it does do any damage, it does it to the studios that don't know how to make a game that's worth keeping. Even in that situation, they have something much bigger than GameStop to worry about.
No, really, if you make a good game, people will not want to get rid of it right away. Maybe a few months or years down the road, but certainly not quickly. Make a game that's marginally above mediocre, offer some sort of tools to do more with the game, and you've created a game that will last a while. It may not be a mega-hit. Hell, it may not even be a "hit" at all, who knows? But if it sells well, you've done something right.
September 10th
I have spent the past five days going to each individual page in an attempt to make it standards compliant. So what this means is that everything should look the same across on all browsers that are standards complaint. However, what this also means is that it won't look the same across all resolutions nor all browsers since not every browser is standards compliant.
The lowest resolution you should be viewing my website at is 1280x768 (1650x1050 is optimal). Really, you can view it any resolution that you wish to, but the lower ones will have some issues with the links on the left mergin with the text to the right of it. And the links on the far right? They'll be partially off of the screen.
On the back-end, I completely went with a cascading style sheet layout. While I've been using them for a good while, it was very very limited. With this new design, it looks so very similar to the old one, but... it's standards compliant!
Going this route wasn't easy, actually. It took a great deal of research to get the necessary understanding of how to use css to greater extent. While updating each page as I gained more and more knowledge and running them through W3c's validator, I started noticing some very weird and stupid annoyances.
I had actually planned on keeping frames, but I found that even if I had my pages marked as frame 4.01, certain key values weren't allowed. Most importantly was border (or frameborder) weren't valid. I believe there were a few other ones as well. That's just with the frame element alone. I could no longer use the element "font" or any attributes one would have put with them. Now I'm forced to use "span" in it's place. How about titles? They were now necessary!
However one thing that irritated more than what I mentioned and what I've left out was that while with the transitional and frame tags one could use, if you went straight for the strict tag, you no longer could use "target="_blank"" or anything similar for your links. What this means to you is that all external links will no longer automatically open in a new window. If I want to do that and stay strictly standards complaint, I need to use javascripting - no thanks.
So what's the real reason this annoys me? While I realize people like to make the argument that I shouldn't be telling them how to view or operate my website, those very people can lick whatever grows under my testicles. I pay for the hosting. I design and operate this space. If I annoyingly don't want you copying pictures, I have every right to prohibit that. If I want to force all external links to open in a new window or tab, that's my perogative. Got it? I force you to view what colors my background, text, and links are. I force you to view a specific layout. If you raging cock-grabbers do not like someone telling you what you can and can not do with the information that's being presented to you; well have fun with the kool-aid.
But in the end these changes will be better. I now have more control over presentation. Control I've desperately longed for.
Also, big whoops on the updated index page! Hah!
August 10th
There's a review up for Devil May Cry 4 for the PC. I had initially pirated the game only after reading about how someone in the Capcom Hierarchy was bitching about how piracy was one of the reasons why the game wasn't selling well (but they sure as hell wouldn't tell us what the other reasons were). If I had heard about the game sooner, I would have bought it sooner. Anyway, I did buy the game. I also bought a 360 controller to test out to see if the game would play differently. So what did piracy do here? Why it allowed me to figure out if I liked the game before I bought it. This is one of those instances where a demo wouldn't have been sufficient. I was on the fence about the game for a few days until I came to a few revelations, revelations that wouldn't have happened without playing the game in full.
So the end result of my illegally downloading this game is that I bought it, and I bought a controller specifically so I could try it on this game. Piracy earned two different companies money. Imagine that.
Yeah, I also fixed a link in another review of mine. No more 404 page for that, at the very least. I've seen it in my logs before, but it somehow always worked for me, so I could never figure it out. In any case, it should never ever be a problem again, hopefully.
July 27th
I'm tired of John McCain. Yes, he was a P.O.W.. I get it. P.O.W.. Prisoner of War. Tortured and all that tripe. But what exactly makes him a hero?
People tend to claim he's a hero because he was flying a jet and got shot down, captured, tortured, and survived. So how exactly is that heroic? Doesn't a heroic deed require you to do something? I can see people calling him heroic for fighting in a war. Going into battle day after day. However, being put into a situation and being helpless in that situation, there is no act or deed that you can do that takes heroism. Your life is not dependent on what you do. Compliance? Non-compliance? Irrelevant. At their own whim, they will kill you if they feel like it.
John McCain, you are not a hero. Stop using those P.O.W. videos for your campaign as if your experience somehow entitles you to be a president because everyone lauds you with accolades for being tortured. It's tiring and disgusting. Piss off you old fart.
July 27th
I have updated the index page for the reviews section. It wasn't well designed. I never meant for that design to last as long as it did. I knew how it looked from the start and did not like it. This design is much better... for now. I've also decided to add comments to a few things around here that I rarely touch. They're hidden comments, but you can see them if you view the page source. They're more for my benefit as I sometimes forget why I did something a certain way.
July 26th
So Slashdot is running a discussion about how Comcast is now communicating by blog with its customer base.
The reason they're doing this seems to be a PR move. They're ranked the lowest in customer satisfaction (deservedly so) in some random survey. Instead of taking the time to improve their services in various ways, they instead take the cheap and easy route to get a few people to pat them on the back. None of this will actually fix the underlying issues that people have Comcast. Sure, a few disgruntled people get to say, "hey, they're helping me", the corporate structure of the company ultimately doesn't care about you.
I remember a time when Comcast did care about its customers. Back when we first received our cable internet, things worked great for a while. Then suddenly our connection started to turn to shit. One of their techs came out and blamed it on the fact that we were running a cable throughout the house (despite the fact that the cable was no where near the maximum length cable internet has for loss issues). He installed a secondary cable line that was closer to the PC where the cable was going to for free and left. Problem seemed to be solved, but I still doubt this assumption was correct. The cable I was using could have been faulty - it was old, but the length was perfectly acceptable.
Here's why: during the weekdays, throughout the day each day, when I come home, I noticed that my IM windows will consistently show me signing off and on. This has happened with three different routers (and across two different operating systems on three different PC's, all windoze based) now. I can not get a stable connection back until I restart the modem and router. It resembles the previous problem but on a much smaller scale. Hey, at least they used to care about the problems.
Now? I get told the problem is on my end. The problem can't be on my end. It doesn't matter what I do here. The fact is, Comcast does not give a good service. If you want normal cable TV, have fun with your channels slowly disappearing while charging you the same amount of money. Oh, if you want those channels back? You need to pay $4 per channel to get them back. They claim this is to improve the service their giving.
How the fuck does removing content and charging the same amount of money give me better service? I am getting less, far less, with my dollars. If you want to take away content, I should be charged less money in the process. That still wouldn't necessarily be an "improvement" to my service, but I would be apt to be far less angry.
Oh, and here's a good one. Let' say you've been a loyal customer for the past five years or longer. You see special deals for new customers who get to pay less money for a set period of time. You think, "Hey, I've been throwing money at them for a very long time. They've been fucking me over. I deserve something to make up for it." Well, Comcast will tell you too bad, keep paying full fucking price. I know they have this $99 deal for three services. We have two services from them and pay more than $66 a month. Where's the logic behind that?
So, hey, Comcast, instead of sitting there, reading fucking blogs and getting good PR, improve your god damn service. Have your pricing structure for all customers make sense. If you're taking something away, charge us less. If you advertise something as unlimited, it better be unlimited. Make sensible policies. By doing all of this, you can greatly improve your image with your customers. Until then, I and many other people will see through your bullshit for what it is, a PR stunt that's sorely misguided.
Ok, so that was harsh. I don't mind that you guys are actively seeking out disgruntled customers and trying to help them. That's good for business, even if it is a cheap PR stunt. It's also good for customers. However, I have this feeling that's where it ends, that you, Comcast, will not raise a finger to give everyone a product.
July 23rd
I've finally finished my review for the Q5W that I purchased not too long ago. I feel that I've owned it long enough to experience it in the way that I've wanted to. Did I like it? Did I hate it? Read the review to find out. It took me about a week to feel motivated enough to get the words just right. Since I decided to skip work today, it seemed like a good time to do it.
I've done some external link changing there on the right. I decided to finally remove Dystopia. I'm never going to be completely done with that mod until servers stop existing, however I'm done with the community side of things. Monday night I get an E-mail from the team pandering for Donations for their servers to keep the website running smoothly and to keep the GRank bullshit going.
I realize they just put everyone who has signed up to the forums into a mass mailing list. What really bothers me this is that even though I'm not allowed to participate in the forums anymore, they're asking me for money where it will help to partially fund that. Why would I give money towards something I can't use. Furthermore, since I can't access certain sections of the forum, sections that I paid access for, what fucking right do they have to ask me? Just saying.
July 16th
Fraud (criminal) (noun)
The crime or offense of deliberately deceiving another in order to damage them; usually, to obtain property or services unjustly.
I believe this is a fair and accurate assessment of the word. Naturally when you want to talk about a certain topic, it's always good to define what it is that you're talking about. So let's keep this definition in mind.
I had stumbled into the living room and decided to sit on the couch and pet one of the cats that was there for a few minutes. The TV was on and "Judge Judy" was currently airing. As always some douche-bags are arguing over money because they had a failed relationship. Whatever. The guy claims that his now ex-girlfriend had got into a vehicular accident.
Now from my experience from being in one of those accidents, the insurance company assess the damages done to the car and cuts you a check based on what current rates go for at that point in time unless you have objections. They also give you a list of garages they "authorize", where if you take your vehicle there and the cost is more than that, the insurance company will pay the additional costs. In no way shape or form does this mean that you have to take your car to those garages. It's just what they recommend so you can make use of the money and not have to potentially pay more.
Well the guy claimed to have got the car fixed for $1300 less than what the insurance company quoted him. Judge Judy starts screaming insurance fraud at him.
What fraud? Where was a fraudulent claim made? The guy was an intelligent shopper in this case and was able to get the work done for less than what the insurance company quoted his woman. If the insurance company was not able to find a better deal than you, that certainly is not your fault, and certainly nothing seems fraudulent about it. Did the insurance company give a pay-out bigger than what they had to give out? Yes. Is that your fault? No. Besides, even if the accident isn't your fault, it can often be a difficult task to get the $500 deductible back.
It just goes to show that Judge Judy is an old cranky cunt who can lack a great deal amount of common sense.
June 30th
Where is the head?
This parody brings up a point I'd like to address. Women expect men to make themselves emotionally available to them 24/7, even if they have no intention of returning the favor. They walk all over us in this manner. Yet, the moment the guy asks for his needs to be meet (and rightfully so), women act like we've asked a terrible deed from them.
Look, here we are, listening to your trite bullshit. We give you sympathy when you need it. We'll do nice things for you. We are meeting your needs emotionally. We put forth a lot of effort to do this. We do this because on some level, we like you and enjoy spending time with you. So when the time comes for a guy to ask for you to meet his physical needs (needs you have as well), don't be a fucking cunt about it. Show us your boobs, give some head, do something to return the favor. Most men don't even care if you ask them to return the same physical favor. In that area, we enjoy giving as much as we possibly can too.
If a guy is going to be spending $100 on you for the evening for the social activities for the two of you, you should be putting out. That very money can be spent on a hooker. That hooker would probably let me stick my pipe in her ass as much as I want and will even clean it off with her mouth when I'm done making an anal creampie. So if he mentions head, at the very least consider the effort the man put in. If you're really not into it don't complain about the request. It isn't unreasonable. Politely decline the request. Yeah, we'll be upset, but not nearly as much if you had decided to act like you have a right to be outraged by the thought of the very act.
But I bought you a meal and drove you home! Where is the head?
And this topic brings me up on another point. I realize a lot of you female types have that guy friend who is just solely a friend. He's been a really good friend. He's willing to go on stupid shopping excursions with you when you don't want to go alone. You've probably sat up with him all night, crying on his shoulder because some dickwad treated you like shit. You probably have even mentioned to him plenty of times how you wish you could find a guy like him. He's probably the "nice guy" type.
Well newsflash bitch, the guy you want to date is right in front of you. This man has made himself emotionally available to you on so many occasions. He spends his time with you because he genuinely cares about you. While you're off fornicating dickhead Joe and getting treated like dirt when you're with him, you've been emotionally dating this guy right there. That's fairly selfish of you. If he were to date two women at once, you'd probably think negatively about him. However, here you are, dating two men at the same time. Using them both in different ways.
Instead of killing his spirit and eventually turning him into one of those assholes you fuck, but cry about in the end, give him a chance. The worst thing that might happen is that you two find out you aren't compatible with each other. That's a far better solution than continuing the charade that you're carrying on with him. Not only does it benefit society in the long run, it benefits the both you.
June 16th
Yesterday I decided to check out and see what Amazon had to offer in ways of a DAP/PMP (Digital Audio Player/Portable Media Player). They have a Q5W from Cowon products. Pricey, but very tasty looking. My previous PMP from Cowon served me well while it lasted. So why not another product from these people? There's always tons more support on their products. Sometimes they're a little more costly, but you know, feature rich. I may not use half of those features, but other DAP's/PMP's do not offer the kind of support I require.
Okay, so I see that and decide now would be a good time to buy an ass-load of music off of there too. I start browsing for some bands I had heard on the radio or what has been "recommended" to me by some friends. I find some CD's and listen to the 30 seconds preview. After One or two songs I realize the quality is fucking god awful. I figured that maybe it was a fluke. Or maybe that the songs really sound like that. I go through some other offerings of music and find the same fucking quality. At this point I realize that for whatever reason, Amazon thought it was somehow intelligent to offer a small sample at severely reduced quality to entice you to buy.
What a bunch of fucking bullshit. Fine, you're going to give me a sample, not the whole song. I understand that. But why at a reduced quality? What if that reduced quality is leaving out sounds that I might find unappealing? What if it's leaving out sounds that I would find appealing? I can't possibly guess because the quality is horrendous. From these "samples", if one were so brave to label them as such, a consumer is not capable of making an educated decision.
So here I am stuck with a dilemma. I can illegally download the music and commit an act of copyright infringement to get a considerably better sampling of the music I wish to purchase, or I could stick with the low quality small samples that I'm being force fed.
And the recording industry wonders why people pirate music. Your legitimate customer base isn't even allowed to use current technology to make an informed decision. So what can they do? What are their choices? They can "deal with it", which doesn't help a consumer be a smart consumer - make an informed decision. They could not buy music. Or they could just choose to pirate it first, and then decide if it's worth paying for.
There's no good choices here that please everyone. Option number one allows the consumer to be ripped off. This is not an appealing choice as a consumer. Option number two only helps the Music Industries jihad against its own fans. Not only that, it cuts your access off from a fun form of entertainment. Option number 3, while giving the consumer a very informed decision, some people will refuse to pay for the music if they like it. It also takes control out of the hands of the copyright holder, which to them, isn't something they're ready to deal with.
So what is the answer? I don't know. I have temporarily decided to not make any purchases at the time being. My total before I gave up was coming close to $700. That's easily $700 Amazon could have received from me if they had allowed me to make an informed decision in the first place.
June 15th
Every now and then I get asked, "do you have a MySpace", with their eyes bulging wide in anticipation and hope that I somehow do. I'm not sure why they have such hope and anticipation. Is it because they honestly believe that's the only way to contact me? Events afterwards seems to make me believe that's probably what it is. Watching their hopes and dreams get crushed as I admit that I don't and elaborate why I don't is mildly amusing.
There's a lot of little things I can't stand about Myspace. I don't like the fact that a person hasn't truly designed the page themselves. They find websites to do it for them. I don't like the "social networking" bullshit that it entails. It forces you to be a part of something I don't necessarily want to be a part of. I don't like the millions of quizzes one could take and then post some bullshit comments about it in my comments section.
However, the biggest reason I can't stand Myspace is that it doesn't penalize bad web design. Some of those pages are, visually, extremely horrendous that I can't fathom why someone would want to visit that page. I can't even begin to imagine what would make someone think that the look is great. Here's some generous tips for you morons who think your black text on a very dark-gray background works:
I'd show you examples of what pages look good, but I suddenly realized there aren't any. It seems like every single person contributing to the social black-hole that is Myspace is also void of any talent in web design.
Perhaps you people should learn HTML. It's real simple, and it's real basic. Can you do tables? Can you alter text? Frames? Understand CSS? You can design something very very simple, easy on the eyes, and is lain out clearly. It's all very easy to learn and can be done in less than a day. If you are actually too lazy to spend half a day learning basic HTML, just don't mess with the layout that's given. If you want content, do it in an update.
I have recently started reading and even posting on Slashdot. I had stopped some years ago. Mainly due to the fact that Slashdot is akin to some strange variant of Star Trek's The Borg. They're Borg-like in that they all feel the need to think similar. Where they differ is that they don't care if they assimilate you. If they can't, they really don't want you there.
In my previous use of said website, I would often get modded down for "troll" or "flamebait" because I said something disagreeable. Those acts of mine weren't meant to be flammatory or for me to make you think I live under a bridge or in a cave. They were just comments counter to what the majority were saying. I also noticed that whenever I'd submit a story, it would never be posted. However, hours or even days later I'd see the very same story, with the very same summary being up there with credit going to a different person.
It was clear to me at that time that Slashdot didn't work as it should have. It's faults were in that it was a community. A very very large community. It still doesn't work, by the way. With the same problems as before, I also find those who post there to often be intellectually dishonest, or just very very dumb. Seeing as how it's a place for geeks, one should be safe in assuming that everyone there would have intelligence beyond what the average person has. They don't need to be a genius, but certainly somewhere in the "above average" category at the very least.
Well, you'd be wrong.
March 14th
Probably A Lengthy Post
First, let's talk about Call of Duty 4 for the PC. I just want to bitch about the issues that I have, and my issues are multiplayer only. I had planned on writing this two weeks ago, but I haven't played it in two weeks and found other things to do. My thoughts on it might feel incomplete, not because of the content of what I'm sharing, but because of what I can't remember that I didn't like.
However, I would like to add that I did find the single player immensely enjoyable. I don't think the single player has a lot of replay value for me, but it is a really good experience. I also want you to keep in mind that I do not hate the multiplayer for this game. I did have a lot of fun with it.
Call of Duty's multiplayer is fail. I think a large part of the problem is that it allows a large number of people on a server. The maximum server size needs to be reduced by half. There also needs to be a maximum player limit for each map, so that smaller maps aren't one big cluster-fuck nade fest. The problem with the large amount of players consists of a lot of things. The biggest issue is the spam. Everything is spammable. The more people there is, the more spam there is. It's also clear that the maps weren't balanced for such a large number of people. (Some maps don't feel like they were balanced at all, but that's a different story.)
The multiplayer is unforgiving. If you are on the losing team, and you're starting to lose by a noticeable amount, prepare to keep losing, hard. The "autobalance" feature just doesn't work. I don't know how it works, actually, but what it needs to do is just automatically kill the player from the top of the winning team and kill the lowest player from the losing team and swap them. It doesn't need to add the deaths to your death count, as that would suck pretty hard for the stat-whoring jackals that plague online gaming. I've seen very little teamwork in pub play, so there should be no attachment associated with the team you're on. I realize autobalance systems are largely a much hated thing for a lot of people, but I think if people started implementing them correctly, there could be a lot of fun to be had. If you can't implement one properly, just remove it.
It gets worse though. The autobalance is just a minor issue when you look closer to why your team is being tied up and violated. One of the terrible things about it is that after five kills, you can call in an air-raid. After 7, a helicopter. There's no limit to how many can be called as far as I can tell. This does nothing but making the losing team lose even more. Good luck calling in an air-strike or a helicopter if you're horribly losing. It most likely won't happen. Sure, a few UAV recons (radar, more on that later). I do wonder though, if this is simply a fault of map design when you have dominance, or a fault with the player sizes.
Now, how about those players with a high-ping? For whatever reason, nothing was built into the multiplayer to kick those with a high ping (if there was one, it would need to be something you can turn off for clan play). I hate hitting someone dead on and it doing no damage. These guys are often hard to hit, especially if they're running. The running animation for them is jerky. Why is it jerky? It's because of their high ping. There should be no reason why you can't find a server closer to you. There's over 17,000 servers. Active administrators are not enough to combat the problem. Granted this is more of an issue with players being jerks and not playing on a server closer to their ping, but sometimes things need implemented to reduce problems like this to make the experience more enjoyable for everyone.
One of the oddest things about the multiplayer is use of PunkBuster. Anyone who's anyone knows what PB is, and how it often doesn't work. If you have a successful franchise going on, don't you think it's a good idea to create your own anti cheat system, much like Valve did? Instead of using middleware and trying to make it work with your game, you have the option to do much much more. It may cost money to constantly police, but who are we kidding? If your franchise is that successful, the games you make in the future will probably be successful too. Those games can also use the very same system. This will at the very least eliminate false positives. This also helps to keep cheaters off of the older games, as the system is a general system and will always be updated in the backend with the latest offenders and known hacks.
The perks themselves are another issue that just doesn't jive with me. Some of the perks are not that bad. Their effectiveness needs to be toned down or increased in some cases for better gameplay, but they are fairly nice. I haven't unlocked every perk either (I've unlocked most), at the moment, so I guess you should be taking this with a grain of salt, but a very tiny grain.
Two of the perks that I think should be outright removed are Last Stand and Martyrdom. Both of these work when you die. Last stand works when you die and were not head-shotted, or fragged by an explosive, the perk activates. Your guy is laying on the ground on their back. You can aim any which way, but can not move. Your pistol is drawn and you have enough time to empty about three clips. This gives you plenty of time to not only kill the person who killed you, but also gives you time to kill any other player who gets in your way. Martyrdom works when you die. Your guy pulls a pin on the grenade and it sits there on your corpse, ready to explode very soon. This forces you to quickly sprint around it, or back away. In a close corridors situation, this can be hard to do. In hardcore mode, this will get you a lot.
What I dislike about those perks is that it feels like a punishment for doing what I should be doing, killing the enemy. It also slows down the flow of the game. Martyrdom is especially annoying on Hardcore mode as things do more damage. (Hardcore also removes all elements of the HUD, even the grenade indicator.) Combine that with Sonic Boom (which makes your explosives do more damage), and you have one very nasty grenade that's able to wipe out a large number of people. When I kill someone, I don't want to take the time to fire a couple more bullets into them. I don't want to take the time to back away from them. I want to keep going. Having to worry about the dead guy is not a fun gameplay element.
My second to last short blurb on the MP is the knife. It's a knife, it works, it kills. I just don't think it should be possible for someone to charge at me and successfully knife me in the groin for a kill as I'm emptying rounds in them. It just doesn't feel right as a gameplay mechanic, ya know?
One final thing I'd like to mention is that certain game modes allow for spawn camping really easily. It's absolutely ridiculous that this was not caught before and after release. At the very least, it's not fun for half the players. Why should I play those game modes over other ones? By not eliminating spawn camping, parts of the game are unenjoyable. Games are supposed to be fun. Being killed the instant you spawn is not.
However, even looking at this as a whole, it still doesn't make it an overall bad experience. It is fast paced. That alone underscores all of the problems as a collective. Fast paced enables the action to be more tense and declare a victor much faster. This means more skirmishes are to be had. Indeed, it's extremely tasty.
I have bought the Orange Box. I knew I was at the very least going to like Portal and EP2. I just was never thrilled of the idea that I'd have pay for HL2 and EP1 again. I also had strong reservations about TF2. I did not like TFC at all. Naturally one would be hesitant about a predecessor if they did not like the original.
Portal was the first game I played through and finished. I didn't care about completing the challenges and didn't really attempt to do so; that's not to say I didn't attempt them, I just didn't attempt to finish them. I wanted to see what they could offer. After seeing that, I knew I had my fill of a very wonderful game. I certainly would have liked to see more, but short and sweet isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is an amazingly fun game. The additional challenge puzzles are nice, but I hope there's a sequel. I would like to see more single player and portals. I guess I'll have to wait till EP3, huh?
I haven't actually finished Episode 2 yet. That's a goal for the weekend. I want to finish it. From what I've played so far, it's a really fun game. I'm not sure why people are complaining about running through some antlion nest. It was fun. Whatever, it's a continuation of a good plot.
Ahem. TF2. I'm not sure I can express how much I have enjoyed TF2. I do have issues with it for sure. However these issues are minor and do not drive me away from the game. It, in fact, has far less issues than COD4. I've been mainly playing the role as a medic. I can't seem to play the other classes quite as well as I play a medic. I'm not sure if that's because my play style is too suicidal when in a non support role, or if that's because other medics can't compare to my awesomeness and stay alive while keeping me alive.
What I really like about TF2 is that it's fast paced. You can usually get to the action quickly and do something. You will either fail or achieve your goal of doing something, but you can generally do it. I love how there's very little overlap in the classes (needs less shotgun, however). I love how the graphics make the game seem less serious. This is nice because for whatever reason, people are far less anal about losing a round or ten. I've been on teams where we were getting curb stomped for a few rounds in a row and just did not care. Everyone also seems 50% less assholish (no one has complained about my handle - Coat Hanger Abortion). We were having fun while being schooled in the fine art of Team Fortress 2. I love how every class has it's own intricate ways. It's not to terribly deep, but the areas they excel in are different. They're also usually vastly expanded upon from a really good medic (meaning me).
What I don't like, I can only vaguely remember and I'm not sure it's worth mentioning. However, I will give this a shot. One of the only things I'd like to see them change the most is for certain types of CP maps, maps like Dustbowl. When the first control point for any given partition of the map is captured, if either team has any dead players, they should instantly respawn. It seems far too easy to capture the second point. My last "serious" complaint is about how points are rewarded. I'd like to see more points for assists, and assist points after death. For the medic, I completely understand you get a point for every two assists. It just makes sense. However, with the other classes, if I do the majority of the damage, I should get some credit other than my name showing up on the frag ticker. There are times where my suicidal nature will have me charge into three Heavies and by some sheer mystical force I have caused enough damage to almost kill all three, but end up dying. Do I get any sort of credit when my teammates finish them off quickly? No. I just think being slightly more liberal with the points will not only make the individual players feel more useful, it will also make you look more useful to a team. Let's face it, if a player has been on your team for a good ten minutes and hasn't come close to breaking double digits, you're going to think they're useless.
They aren't necessarily major issues to address, but I think they could enhance the game.
Audiosurf. You get to literally "surf" on your music. Can you envision that? The type of experience you want to have is dependent on the song you choose. A mellow or slow song will be a relaxing experience. A faster song will result in a more frantic experience. A song that has both will let you experience both.
The premise of the game is that you use a song from your music library. You pick a racer, then you pick a song inside the games browser that is from your music collection, then it creates a track for you to race on. You collect pieces along the way. Match three of a kind or more and you get some points. It's a like Tetris, but on a grid, and you're only given the pieces to work with. There are special pieces along the way that have varying effects, all of which are good. You are penalized for overfilling a column without clearing any blocks from it.
There are three separate difficulties too. It's the standard "easy", "normal", and "hard" types albeit named differently. The difficulty is chosen by the racer you choose. It clearly lays it out so there's no guess work. There is also a way to increase the difficulty of each difficulty by clicking the "ironmode" box at the bottom of the game. This removes the gutter (where you can ride freely if you want to for whatever reason) and moves the track faster.
I personally have found the experience to be exhilarating to say the least. A lot of the songs in my music collection has a faster beat to it, creating a more frantic game; just the way I like it! Imagine being an 8 year old kid. It's Christmas day and your opening your presents. There is just one present you've been waiting for and it's down to the last present. It possibly looks like what you have been waiting for all year, possibly. Your palms are sweaty in anticipation as you grab the present. You frantically scratch at it, trying to tear off every piece of paper to even remotely glimpse at what it could be. After mere seconds you see what it is... It's THE present. You are so thrilled you ignore everything else and just do whatever it is with that one present. The time you have is just wonderful. There's nothing to describe how much fun can be derived from what you're doing. That's what I get with Audiosurf.
I will however warn you that despite the lucrative ten dollar price tag, the game might become stale very quickly. Sure, you get to listen to the music as you play on the music, but that could also detract from the listening experience. You can choose to just surf to view the scenery (there is a separate option for that) if you're that worried about it. The game could potentially lose what novelty value it has for you in a quick manner. There is a demo available that allows you to surf three? songs. It doesn't allow you to digest much experience from the game, but hopefully it's enough to allow you to decided if you want to further explore what it could offer. If you do buy the game, I suggest playing it for only half an hour at a time. Any longer and it will seem a little tedious. Half an hour seems to be the right amount of time to optimize the enjoyment you can receive. (If you do buy this, buy it over STEAM. You receive the Orange Box soundtrack for free.)
People are still blathering about the decline of PC gaming, and how the almighty mystical One-Console has crushed it. The rhetoric I see is missing one key element: actual thought. Every argument in favor of consoles coming out on top either lacks enough detail to back up the claim, or it's just plain lunacy. For example, people will often cite the NPD numbers, which doesn't take a lot of anything into account. Essentially, they only give a very incomplete picture. Other people will mention something about comfort, clearly showing that they know next to nothing about gaming on a PC. One of my favorite pieces of rhetoric is the lack of AAA titles. As if every game with a large budget is somehow a grand-ole experience that isn't bug ridden. If one ignores budget status, we'll see that it's not necessarily money that makes the game. It's creativity and gameplay.
The estimates are a 14% market share for PC gaming. 14% is probably not the top pie slice, but if you consider for a moment that it's not just one console, but many avenues of electronic gaming, it doesn't seem bleak. There's the Wii, Xbox 360, PS2 and PS3, PSP, and DS. If one were to assume that the rest of the competition was doing equal (for the sake of argument), they'd all stand at a 17.2% market share. While 17 is a bigger number than 14, it's not that much bigger. I'm not entirely sure how big the handheld market is and to what overall platform the handheld gamer would prefer next, if any. We know Wii sells the most consoles, but not necessarily the most software sometimes. We know that between the Xbox 360 and PS3, software sales are roughly the same sometimes.
If one wants to really dig into the topic, you'd see that the handhelds really aren't competing against anyone but each other. They don't care about taking market share away from the PC or console market. They just want to enhance your gaming experience on the go. You'd see the consoles competing against each other, and you'd see the PC off onto the side in a field of it's own where real experimentation takes place that you will eventually see in some distant future on your console anyway. This entire debate and thought process is irrelevant, so please let it die.
However, despite the irrelevancy of the topic at hand when it has been analyzed, it does bring up some good points about the PC industry in general. It does have it's fair share of problems. However, developers and publishers would rather blame everything on the hardware manufacturers, when, in fact, some of the blame does lie on them too. You can't expect Unreal 10,000, a rehash of Unreal 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on, to sell well. Reinvent yourselves from time to time and make your releases less buggy. At the same time, start talking to the hardware people. They might listen.
Ok, so now it's personal life time.
As each day passes, it becomes more and more clear that I need to find a new job. We've had our hours cut back for three months now. Work is slowly coming back, but it's very little at a time. That's not the reason though. There's plenty of other things I can do at work that are work related. Plenty. I often do them in the spare time when I have it.
I am the goose that lays the golden eggs. For the past four months they've been tracking how much time people spend working on actual product to figure out profitability of each product line. I run three different ones. One group averages about 60%. Two are low 70's. Another is high 70's, and mine, with everything combined, 82%. Easily the most profitable area. I can only assume by those numbers that I also must run a very efficient area. It's hard to guage efficiency with these numbers, but I do not think it would be a stretch to say that I am running the most efficient team.
We haven't even caught wind of our yearly raises yet. After seeing these numbers I was hoping to get some sort of recognition. A little something to say, "Keep up the excellent work, Mike." "Here, have a few clams as a bonus." "Here, here an extra day of vacation or sick time." Something to say thanks for busting your ass day after day and keeping things running as smoothly as humanly possible.
I guess I'm just a dreamer. It will never happen. I have no clue what anyone in management thinks of me. I wish I had some sort of idea. I know absolutely nothing. I am told nothing. I sometimes wonder why I'm even a team leader. It's not like anyone in management listens to my ideas when I hand them out on a silver platter that has a golden trim. No. They're ignored. Sometimes I'm even told to stop doing things a certain way, only to come back at me months later questioning me why my warranty rate is so fucking high, only for them to steal the very idea I had in the first place. Oh, suddenly it's their idea, not mine.. No, I wasn't the person who pinpointed the fucking problem to you and three other people.
No, I haven't done anything. Despite the numbers proving otherwise time after time again, I don't deserve anything. I should be oh so lucky to be employed.
But I really shouldn't be so surprised. Today, just today, for example. I had went to scan out some parts out of inventory and notice that we're missing 90 pieces (for anyone who might care, it's just a high reliability, high powered flyback diode). Now I doubt they were stolen. They just weren't scanned out when someone went to get more. Our inventory system is set up with minimum requirements. If it ever reaches the minimum, the system automatically orders more. Usually if there's one or two pieces missing, I'll just do a quick inventory correction and move on. But 90 pieces? I thought that was something I should tell my boss so he could find out who else uses the parts and talk to them. Instead, he just stares at me blankly and tells me he'll correct the count and that's it.
Awesome. My boss doesn't care that people aren't using the system correctly. I should have known from previous discussions with him about this...
Dystopia is almost dead to me. Almost. The community keeps spiraling downward faster and faster. I am by any means, not a shinning example of a person who takes etiquette to heart. If I see bullshit, I won't beat around the bush and use tact to spare feelings. Your feelings are irrelevant to me. Mine should be irrelevant to yours. Anyway, there was a recent failure of a competition where they had to axe every category except the mapping portion due to lack of submissions. Anyway, one map was created by one of the testers, and said tester happens to be in a very large clan. During the voting portion, the map gets an obscene amount of votes in every category. I know most of these people didn't bother touching the other maps, so there was a lack of objectivity.
I point this out and the mapper takes it to heart. You can read the debacle. I'm just not entirely sure why I was temporarily banned. I also don't understand what is meant by "GROW A SACK OF TESTICLES". Am I lacking a pair because I didn't call the self absorbed douche bag a person who touches little kids while he has their parents tied up at gun point? In retrospect, I wish I was banned for doing that. That would have at least made sense. The community is full of assholes who think only their ideas and creations are worth merit, and the Team is full of idiots who would rather turn down any form of decent help because a person might excel in only one area. Oh? And telling us what needs done to help out? Unthinkable. And their relations with anyone who isn't a dev or tester? They don't receive the special treatment.
I'm not sure how they manage to keep people interested, or why people stick around forever. It's a niche group of failed attempts at reforming /b/ tard wannabes. But hey, what do I know? I need to grow a sack of testicles first. I guess I'm off to the science lab! Test tube testes anyone?
February 19th
Despite what some people would like to believe, PC gaming doesn't have to be a dying platform. The problem is that developers feel as if they're developing for a console gamer and that's simply not the case. Console gamers are different from a PC gamer. Why did Crysis do so terrible? Because it was all about looks and lacked in the gameplay department. The game looks gorgeous. It's just absolutely stunning! However once you start playing the game, it's just very mundane. It's average. It claimed to be doing this, that, and the other, but it never delivered. I felt as if I was playing a watered down version of Deus Ex: Invisible War. The game is a little more challenging than that, but the overall gameplay wasn't much different.
Your game doesn't have to be an MMO like WoW. Your game doesn't have to be absolutely revolutionary either. PC gamers are surprisingly simplistic. We just don't allow you to walk all over us. If you promise X and Y, deliver X and Y. And by god, make sure the price reflects the actual game! These are actually simple rules that should apply across the entire gaming platform, but it's especially important for PC gaming. I think PC gamers are just more sophisticated in that aspect. A console gamer tends to buy games and will swallow it as long as they like something about the game. I see time after time again. PC gamers are far more critical.
You can still make a game that is fun to play, looks decent, and isn't that expensive. I like the indie developers, they make some fun games. I may play the game only a couple of times, but when you're only paying $15 to $20 for the game, you get exactly what you are promised. The games aren't ugly, and they're kind of fun. I understand that the gaming industry is there to make money, that you can't just live off of $20 games when you have a few hundred people working for you, but you need to understand your target audience better! Trying to cater to the status quo of a different audience doesn't work. You don't need to be revolutionary either. You just need to do things right, or at the very least make good on your promises.
PC gaming isn't dying. Not by a long shot. We're just here waiting for the right game.
February 17th
Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit. Vista is shit.
February 10th
I spent a small portion of the day writing a new review. It's for a game called Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords or whatever. Find the review in the reviews section, or if you want to save time and money, simply put, don't buy the game. Uh... I think I did some other things too. I can't really focus right now because I've been busy coughing up every organ in my body. I normally don't get sick, but this has been crazy. I'll start to feel better, then get worse. Then feel better, then get worse. Like right now, I feel myself getting worse. I think I'm going to crawl into my bed and die, hard.
January 26th
There's a few things I want to mention real quick. First of all, fuck Vista. Secondly, I built a new PC. Thirdly, fuck Apple in general. Last but not least, I deleted a lot of the big files. My hosting just simply does not give very good download speeds. Pretty much anything over 10MB was axed. A proper update will be forthcoming hopefully in the next few days.
January 14th
I have found a need to work on my definition of Atheism. It took me a while to refine it, but I think I have it down. The hardest part was wording it very carefully as to cause as little confusion as possible. Still, I'm not sure if the religious person could every fully grasp the meaning. To them, it probably would be hard. They're used to having a belief system in a higher power. When a person suddenly lacks that, they probably think the person is in denial, and not that's not necessarily the case. A lack of something is not the same as thinking it's not there, but it appears to the religious they are the same thing.
January 13th
Dear Rockstar Games:
If, in the next edition of the GTA series, you including flying planes and helicopters (which I'm sure you will), I kindly ask that you do not make the controls difficult to master. Your current implementation of the control scheme is difficult in a non fun way. If the controls are not fixed, and there are no cheats to use to skip past the missions which require you to become perfect at flying them I will first hunt down every immediate member of your families. I will brutally torture and murder them. It will be video taped. I will then hunt each member of the studio down. I will confine you in a room. I will force you to watch the video of your family for 40 days. After that time period, I will then do the very same unspeakable acts to you.
So please, I beg you, don't ruin what would otherwise be a very fun experience with a bad handling setup. You will regret it.
(This is not meant to be taken seriously, but to show how much I hate flying a plane or helicopter in a GTA game. It is by no means a fun experience and it breaks up the momentum of the gameplay because you need to master one specific task for one mission. As a gameplay idea, it's terrible. There are better ways to keep something challenging while keeping the controls relatively easy to use.)
January 6th
Going Ons, Happenings, and Schtuff
Back at some point around the beginning of December (I guess), Melissa started calling more often and leaving voicemails. Apparently giving me some space was not an option for her. I had already given up on the friendship and her at the time. I did not want contact with her because I am a weak and lonely man. However, push came to shove. In an unexpected move, I took a picture of my dick with my cellphone and sent it to her. I didn't know if it would shut her up, but I was hoping it would elicit some kind of negative response from her. I knew it was like opening my own personal Pandora's box, but a box without that ray of hope.
There was a lot of talking after that between the two of us. She just didn't get it, even after I told her why I was angry. She sincerely thought it was because I wanted more. That wasn't even it. I've been rejected by better. I'm ok with being her friend. I chose my words carefully and spoke to her in a rude tone to get my point across. After I was done getting my point across, she asked if that picture was mine. So apparently I didn't piss her off, but I instead made her wet. She knew it was mine, she just wanted confirmation.
We're on speaking terms now. However, this time I'm not pulling any punches. I don't always pick up the phone when she calls. I don't feel obligated to do anything. She is now trying to be a better friend, but I only wonder how long that will last.
Christmas came and went. I had to put my cat to sleep shortly after Christmas. That was pretty hard to do. It was just his time. He was a very old cat. He had stopped eating, and not long after that his body started to shut down. Watching him deteriorate was painful. When I wasn't around, he would start having seizures, however the moment he saw me he would stop. I think he was just trying to be strong for me, which made it even harder. He gave me something to look forward to when I was coming home from work. Everyday when I came in the house, I always sought him out and spent some time with him. I really miss not having him around. He was a good companion. I did decide to have him cremated and to keep his ashes. They put his ashes in a really nice box actually. Maybe one day I will get a new cat, but right now I'm just not ready.
New Year's? Uneventful.
There is one game I got for Christmas where, as a conclusion, all I can say is "Seriously, fuck this game", and that's F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate. Timegate Studios managed to flip the bird to the fans of the series. Graphically, it looks worse than the first game. The gameplay? Buggy as hell! The enemies can shoot you before your model, or their model is around the corner, a phenomenon you usually only get in an online game. The new enemies? They're only challenging because they have more HP, not because they're smarter. The new weapons? Useless! It could have been a fun game, but this is certainly an effort in a quick cash in on the franchise.
I also received Super Mario Galaxy for Christmas, but since I haven't played much of it, I won't comment too much. Though I'm not interested in playing this game because the camera angles make what would be a fun experience, an experience that is sometimes frustrating to play. If the angles were better, or could be controlled better, the level of fun would probably be through the roof.